43

i dreamt about it again last night
i woke up to find out that i was still alone
i dreamt that you were here last night
beneath the covers between the sheets
they keep telling me this is who i am
he keeps telling me this isn't right
i'm in a cage with rubber bars
evaporation at its finest
i'm half gone

42

i am growing to hate more people.

41

Emily, remind me not to come back to this
Remind me not to forget to turn away
Tie a millstone around this
And throw it into the ocean
Throw it away for good
I'll fret over this
And at night, it'll grip my soul
I'll run from this
1000 miles straight back to Kansas
Where that tree waits for me
I'll hold onto it's branches
And become a leaf far away on the streets
The farmer will sow his seeds
And I'll fall on this bed of thorns
It's time to pack up, Emily.
It's time to go.

40

i am learning how to manage it all
my hands are dripping with hours
i wish i could tell you that i am getting better
emily, i wish i could tell you i'm turning my ways
i feel adrift from everything we've built
wrap this around my ankles and drag me
bury me 6 feet under
and i swear you'll still feel my pulse
drown me under this all