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it's not much like christmas without you. i don't understand why you would do that. why would you hurt them like that? why would you do that to us? put a knife to my throat and i promise you that i still will never admit it. i did horrible things. horrible. but i still loved you throughout it all. we had our fights. i took your scissors and cut off my hair. i took your razor and drew your favorite streets. straight and down my arms. you told me you loved me all the same, no matter how deep my insanity took me. i'm crazy but you knew that i was fighting it. it's sick, our love. but we had it all. emily, you know we had it all. we still do.