and what if?

sometimes i wish i could give you more than a simple answer. i wish i could pull out the right words to say right out of my body and spill them onto the floor between us. i contemplate over the what if's and end up drowning these pages under the ocean that my eyes create so effortlessly. i let my anxiety build its home within me and i let it consume me. i wish things were different. sometimes, i wish it played out differently.