the main dish.

sometimes, i have this small urge to push these pills down my throat. it fascinates me to know that this god made it so easy for us to end our own lives. how easy it is for me to walk to the middle of that bridge and jump. i am grateful. i am grateful for the power that He’s blessed me with. i am grateful that i am fully capable of sliding this blade across my wrists and covering my bathroom in beautiful shades of red. shades of beauty. i am grateful for my body, how easily it can be destroyed. i am grateful for my heart, how easily it can stop pumping life into me. i am grateful that i possess the ability to rip out my veins and tie them around my neck. i am grateful because in this very moment, i am choosing to live. i will push these 7 pills back into my drawer because i am here to stay. i am grateful.