monsters.

sometimes, i let these words flow straight from my head through my fingers. i paint these beautiful works of art. i draw masterpieces. i write wonderful paragraphs. lines. sentences. but no words, no painting, no drawing will ever describe anything that i am ever feeling. that is why i am constantly sitting in front of my moleskine. that is why i am constantly contemplating on what else to draw or paint when i am sitting on my stool in front of my canvas. it's absurd to me that i can never get these monsters in my head to come out. they beg to be released and i try so hard to let them run swiftly through my fingers, but they run. they run far away from the edge of my nails. they run into the doors of my heart and they lock them shut. i find it difficult to show my true colors. i become uneasy and anxious. i let my angst grip my throat. but you, you brought out the best in me. with you, i was naked. nude. vulnerable. i let down my walls. with you, i saw the dust form on my easel and my paintbrushes darken with old dried out paint. when i was with you, these monsters ceased to exist because the biggest one took over. love took over.